Turn On. Tune In. Drop None.

Pain level: 5 for urethral pain.  Taking Uribel

Yes, I know.  I said I'd check back in after surgery.

Turns out that I was admitted to the hospital after my surgery because I began having bad chest pains in the recovery room.  I vaguely recall anything, really.  I sort of recall paramedics in the recovery area with me (surgery was done in Chesapeake Urology's Summit Surgery Center).  I don't recall being taken to St. Agnes' emergency room via paramedics (St. Agnes is just around the corner, in the same lot, as CU). I do recall moments of really bad chest pain.  I do recall being taken to my room once one was free. My chest felt like it does after a really back cold and cough; my ribs hurt.

Every test was done to make sure it was not a heart attack.  Everything came back, fine.  The final diagnosis was that I was in the prone position for a long time and it caused my chest muscles to hurt. Okay.  Whatever.  It hurt!

What I was not really expecting was how excruciating my incision would be. I recall getting up to use my bathroom and I nearly passed out.  I screamed and could not make it to my bed. I was released the following day after surgery, but that pain was so bad.  Then suddenly, it was better.  By day 4 post-op, the pain began to subside.  I still have some very minor incision pain, but that will also go away.

I saw Sondra today so that I could have my right InterStim turned back on.  Everything looks great.  I did have a lot of blood in my urine, though and I'm leaking a bit of urine.  It's either IC, or another infection.  I just stopped the Keflex that I took post-op.  Still, even Rob knows that this is just how I roll; I leave a sample, and BOOM; infection.   I began taking Hyophen last night because of some spasms.  We briefly talked about my surgery and what happened; she told me I scared the entire office, including Dr. Duncan.  Big time scared.  I was kind of scared, myself.

It takes a few days for the InterStim to work again, but I can't wait. This constant running to pee is really getting old.  I really got used to going 4 hours before I would have to go, again.  And the nights?  I miss sleeping through the night.  Getting up 4-5 times a night is ridiculous.

Sonda still wants me to think about taking Elmiron  It takes about six months for it to begin working.  It's expensive.  I could lose a lot of my hair.  BUT, it may actually help my bladder to heal.  We will see how the InterStim does for right now.

Until next time,

Here's to sweet, blessed sleep and no leaking!

Peace,

Mary

Onward Through the Flare

Pain level at 10:45am - 6 without meds
Bad flare
Bloody urine


It's snowing again.  I'm so damn tired of snow and winter.  I'm damn tired of lots of stuff right now.

My husband brought our newly groomed and oh-so-cute puppy onto our bed this morning to sweetly awaken me only to be greeted by an aggravated person that was in too much pain to care about how adorbs our puppy was, how loving my husband was... on the morning of our twenty-fourth wedding anniversary.  I'm guessing that by the sound of my pained moaning that that was the signal for them both to leave me.  I was awakened a while later to the sound of Duke angrily barking.  Duke never angrily barks - or rather rarely angrily barks - at anything.  Upon standing up, my pelvis felt like it was a hot water balloon; heavy and full of hot water. I went to the bathroom. I peed. Jagged daggers of pain shot through my bladder.  I cleaned up, stood and saw nothing but bright red in the toilet.

Lovely.

Something has made me flare.  I'm getting back onto my Atkins plan and have been doing well.  I gave myself a day off on Friday.  Then on Saturday.  I ate a really bad Wendy's grilled chicken ... I guess you'd call it a sandwich.  Stale bun. I suppose TPTB were trying to yell at me.  I ditched the bun and ate the chicken, a bit of floppy lettuce and the "sauce" that covered it.  Some sort of mayo.  It ticked my IC off.

Not exactly romantic.  But then again, Romance is difficult for me right now.  CORRECTION: Romance is sweet.  It's the intimacy that is lacking.  I'll save that for another time.

My back is still hurting so much.  I check in at Chesapeake Urology for my date with Dr. Duncan to have my left InterStim re-located tomorrow at 7am.  I hope it sits better this time because I MISS IT.  I've had to turn it off because of the pain and now I pee every 15 minutes or so and I've lost that loving feeling of control all over again.  Yesterday, I was wearing a pull-over hoodie and when I came home from taking our dog to the groomer, I pulled it over my head... and it made me pee.  Seriously.  I laughed to myself.  Again proof that my InterStim works.

Rob and I will be celebrating our anniversary by hitting a few stores then going out for a late low-carb (STEAK!) meal.  Glucose has to be controlled... I'm not trying to have this procedure cancelled like before when my glucose was over the 300 mark. As of this writing, it's at a nice 186

I will post later, before I go to bed.  I know sleep won't come.  It doesn't come now.  Why should it come tonight?

Enjoy the day!

Peace,

Mary

So Near, Yet...

Pain level @ 12:24am:  6 with pain meds.

As time goes on, my pain is getting worse.  It's been a slow increase but tonight, that changed.  Sitting in my recliner, I suddenly felt hot, stabbing pain in where my right Stim is. It brought me to tears.

While I am a firm believer in never wishing time away, I am so wanting to just fast-forward to Monday.  I hate that.  I hate it because my wedding anniversary is on Sunday. I was really hoping that by now, I'd be ready to go out and celebrate twenty-four years of wedded bliss with my husband.  We still may try.  This pain is really slowing me down, though.

My left side is completely healed up, save for a tiny bit of a stitch that has yet to break away.

I've turned off my right Stim as per my doc's instructions.  It took a day, but now I am back to having to pee every other minute, or so it seems.   When I do finally get to sleep, I'm only awakened to have to go, and go. And go.  And with that, comes awful sleep patterns.  Right now, I get about five hours of sleep, but I end up going to bed around 7am.  I'm waking up between 11 and noon.  It is totally ruining my day.  You'd think with those kinds of hours, I'd be asleep by 6pm.  I wish.  I'll probably be up for a long time, yet.  I hate to say it, but I need something  mindless to get me though it.  TV gets old real quick and as much as I love to read, I can't concentrate on the words when I'm in this much pain and under the influence of hardcore pain meds. Thank God for my laptop.  I have an online jigsaw puzzle app that I play.  I also play The Sims 3. It's a total time sponge but, quite frankly my dears, I don't give a damn.

Well, I think I'll brew up some healing tea that my dear friend sent me.

Until next time,

Peace...

Mary

Back to the OR

Pain level: 5 with pain medication

So, it's official;  I'm going back to the OR to have my right InterStim "Pushed in deeper."  Just the sound of that makes me wanna hurl.  I still can't sleep on my back, sit for too long, and walking really hurts.  It's visible too.  So, back I go.

No word yet on when,  I hope it's soon.  I really need to get some decent sleep,

A short post.

More when I get news.

Peace,

Mary

Fear And Loathing In Columbia **Graphic Suture Photo**

Pain Level: 7


Today marks exactly two weeks since my two InterStim devices were implanted.  They're both working beautifully, still.  That's the good - no - the great news.

Now, for the bad...

My right implant is still extremely painful.  My left one is great.  I don't have pain.  I can't even tell it's there.  My right?  It's not as deeply implanted.  It hurts to sit.  It hurts to walk... when I do walk, every time I take a step, I can feel it burning. I haven't slept well in two weeks.  I can't find a comfortable position to sleep in.  I still can't sleep on my back. I can't sleep on either side... it either puts pressure on it, or gravity makes it heavy if I lie on my left side.  I have to lie on my belly and that hurts my bladder.  If I touch the area over it, it's very painful.

I put in a call to my doc, but he was in surgery so Sondra called me back.  After a little Q&A, we both decided to just turn the right one off.  One of two things would happen:

1. My pain would decrease over the course of a few hours.  If that happens, it's just a matter of re-programming the device and doing a trial for a day or so. Or...
2. My pain won't decrease.  It will stay the same.  In that case, I will have to go back to the OR and have my device "Pushed in further."

Just the sound of that made me want to throw up. *shiver*  I told Sondra that this is going to suck because, again, it's working beautifully.  Already, I've had to urinate four times in just 70 minutes.  NOT good.  My average time between trips to the potty to urinate are between four and five HOURS... with the right InterStim turned on.  Again, It just shows that it's working.  Now I just pray that once it's re-positioned, it still works.

Here is a photo, taken this morning.  You can clearly see the difference in how each side healed.

Right side is still very sore and swollen.  It's hard to see, but it's also not as deep in my body as the left side.

So, tomorrow will tell the tale.  I am never one to be pessimistic, but I can already  tell that this placement is not a good one, and that I'll have to have the right side redone.

Crap.

*sigh*

In the meantime, I'm taking it real easy... still.

I hope to make it over to my Aunt's house on Saturday.  I miss my family.

Until tomorrow,

Peace.

First Day That I've Felt GOOD

Exactly one week post-op, and I'm finally feeling pretty good.   I still have some intense pain at night on my right buttock, but it's much better than it was even two days ago.  I took Duke for a 30 minute walk this morning and boy, did it feel great!  Still taking baby steps, but I'm on the road to recovery!

One thing I still experience is this weird feeling of ... I can't put a name on it.  Kind of like claustrophobia, but in a different sense.  Entrapment?  Like I'm out of control of my body, now. It's weird, like I said.  I will see Sondra on Friday and I will share this with her. The creepy thing is, it's Sondra that will be in total control of these things inside me.  Even from afar.  She can reset, reprogram these devices as per my needs.

That creeps me out, big time.

I feel like a puppet.  I know, that really isn't what it is, but yeah.  Someone else is controlling me, in a sense.    I have these two weird little computers in my booty.  I'm wired.  I can't take them out. I have no control.  Okay, I do control the stimulation, but I just find it very unnerving that I have them inside my body.

It creeps me out.  I said that already, didn't I?

*sigh*

The good news is, I see a vast improvement in the incontinence. I still have to go moments after I eat, and sometimes numerous times, but I am in control, where I was totally out of control just over a month ago.

The bad news?  And I may be jumping ahead, but so far, it's not helping the IC pain.  The everyday IC pain. I know it does nothing for flare pain.  But I have IC pain, and sometimes bad IC pain, 24/7.
As I type, my bladder feels like it's full of hot oil, and my urethra feels like lots of needles being stuck into it.  I tried the baking soda in water remedy, only to puke it back up.  YUK.

I will be seeing my endocrinologist on Monday to discuss my new diagnosis (at least to her), and to discuss my diet.  Her receptionist gave me the name of the nutritionist that they use and as soon as I see my endo, I'll make that appointment.  This juggling of low-acid, alkaline foods vs low carb stuff is kicking my ass, and sending my glucose levels up.  Kind of like putting a humidifier and a dehumidifier into a room and letting them fight it out.

I am healing nicely, and the itching has waned some.  I still have trouble getting comfortable at night and my sleep patterns are still screwy.  I fell asleep at 2-something, then woke up at 6 and I've been up since... though I'm wanting to nap.  I am going to try to stay awake as long as possible.  It was very nice being awake when Rob was up and getting ready for work.  I miss those moments.

Miles to go before he's covered.

I'm off to make a pot of tea and then work on Alex's afghan.

Until next time,

Keep on hookin'!

Peace,

Mary

Bandages Are Off! **Graphic Incision Photos**

11:22 am.

Pain Level:  4

Fell asleep around 4:45 am.  My sleep schedule is, again, totally messed-up.  Lots of TV.  The Godfather at 3:00 am.

I'm feeling better this morning.  I took another shower; blessed hot needles scratching at my itchy skin.  I may have found out the hard way that my skin does not get along with any kind of adhesives. My skin is peeling where the tapes were.

During my shower this morning, my steri-strips came off. I gently washed the incisions.  Felt amazing.   I knew I'd need a few band-aids just to keep the incisions covered so, I asked Rob to take these photos before he bandaged me up;

Bruising from liposuction.  You can see where the tapes irritated my skin. 

Swelling at its peak.

I admit that when I first saw these photos, I was shocked.  Kinda real ugly.  My poor body.  More scars to add to the canvas.

Right now, the only chair that I can comfortably sit in is my rocking chair.  That's where I sat at 3:00 am, crocheting while watching The Godfather make deals we can't refuse. I must still lie on my tummy to sleep.  That's getting really old.

I *MAY* try to take a tiny walk, today.  I have no restrictions, really, but to just listen to my body.

I'm off to do our taxes.  I may need pain meds.

Until next time,

Peace.